"Is believing in Jesus unfilial?"

In Hong Kong, when discussing faith with parents, perhaps the most common phrase heard is not, "I disagree," but rather: "Does believing in Jesus mean you are unfilial?" Those who say this are often not trying to debate theology, but are worried: What about the ancestors? What about worshipping deities during Chinese New Year? Who will burn incense after death? In a culture that values filial piety, this touches on family ties and identity, and is by no means a small issue.

So, how should Christians respond? Should they deny it outright, or compromise for the sake of harmony? The Bible gives us a clear and gentle path: first affirm the value of honoring parents, then distinguish between "honoring" and "worshipping," and finally bring family members to the true good news—Jesus Christ.

I. The Bible Actually Places Great Importance on Filial Piety

Many people mistakenly believe Christianity is a "foreign religion" that doesn't value family. The opposite is true. The fifth commandment clearly instructs:

"Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you."(Exodus 20:12)）

The New Testament similarly incorporates this into church life:

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 'Honor your father and mother'—this is the first commandment with a promise—(Ephesians 6:1–2)）

Paul writes that if anyone does not provide for their relatives, "they have denied the faith and are worse than unbelievers"(1 Timothy 5:8)); and he instructs children and grandchildren to "learn first to show godliness in their own family and to make some return to their parents and grandparents"(1 Timothy 5:4)）。

Jesus, even on the cross, was concerned for His mother and entrusted her to His beloved disciple(John 19:26–27)); He also rebuked those who used religious excuses to avoid supporting their parents(Matthew 15:3–6)). In other words:Those who truly follow Jesus should honor their parents more diligently than before, not less.

If someone says, "Believing in Jesus is unfilial," we can gently reply, "The Bible tells me to be *more* filial, not less." Acknowledging the value your counterpart cherishes creates space for dialogue.

II. The Real Tension: Honoring is Not the Same as Worshipping

The tension usually lies not in "whether to be good to parents," but in whether "worshipping ancestors and burning incense" counts as filial piety. These two things must be separated:

Honoring parentsis providing for, respecting, caring for, and repaying kindness—which is pleasing to God.
Worshippingis kneeling, offering sacrifices, seeking blessings, and giving glory to a "god"—which belongs only to the one true God.

The first commandment says, "You shall have no other gods before me."(Exodus 20:3)The Lord also says, "I will not give my glory to another or my praise to idols."(Isaiah 42:8)）

Paul writes that idols "amount to nothing," and "there is but one God"; but the sacrifices of the Gentiles are not essentially offered to the true God(1 Corinthians 8:4–6)；10:19–20Therefore, Christians can remember their ancestors, be grateful for their upbringing, miss them on their death anniversaries, and care for the elders who are still alive; but they cannot transfer the worship that belongs to God to created beings or to the deceased.

This is not to look down on ancestors, but to put people and God back in their proper places: ancestors are worthy of remembrance and respect; only God, the creator of heaven and earth, is worthy of worship.

III. When family affection conflicts with following Christ

Sometimes parents will say: "If you are truly filial, do as we say." Believers will recall Jesus' words:

"Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of being my follower." (Matthew 10:37）

This does not mean hating parents, but rather:Allegiance to Christ must be above all human relationships. The original text of a similar teaching in Luke uses strong words, and the Chinese Union Version notes that it means "love me more than" (Luke 14:26). The point is the order of priority: God first, parents second.

In practical life: you still do your best to support, accompany, and respect your parents; but if they ask you to worship idols, deny Christ, or do something contrary to the Bible, you must gently but firmly refuse. There is no need to argue loudly or pretend to agree for the sake of "harmony." Peter said: "Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect." (1 Peter 3:15）

Long-term, stable filial piety often resolves misunderstandings better than a single debate. If you are more willing than before to accompany them, handle household chores, and listen patiently, your parents will often slowly see that believing in Jesus has not destroyed the family, but has deepened their love.

IV. When talking with family members, what can you say?

1. Listen first, then speak. "I understand you worry that I will abandon my ancestors and neglect you. What concerns you the most?"
2. Affirm filial piety. "The Bible also commands me to honor my parents. After I believed in the Lord, I should take even better care of you."
3. Distinguish between honoring and worshipping. "I will remember my ancestors and take care of you; but I cannot give to anyone the worship that is due only to the Creator."
4. Point to Jesus. "I believe in Him not because of foreign culture, but because He died and rose again for sinners, and is the only Savior who can forgive sins and grant eternal life." (SeeJohn 14:6；Acts 4:12）
5. Invite, do not force. The Lord Jesus said, "Go home to your own people and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you." (Mark 5:19) It is our duty to bear witness; it is God who makes people believe.

Do not expect to change the whole family in one conversation. Sowing seeds, praying, and continuous love are often more faithful than being eager to 'win one argument'.

epilogue

"Is believing in Jesus unfilial?" - According to the Bible, the answer is no. Christians are commanded to honor their parents, repay their kindness, and take care of their families; at the same time, they are commanded to worship only the one true God. Filial piety is fulfilled, but worship cannot be shared with idols.

The greatest filial piety is to bring the true good news to parents: Jesus Christ has accomplished salvation for sinners, enabling people to reconcile with God. "For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes: first to the Jew, then to the Gentile." (Romans 1:16）

May we be both filial children and faithful witnesses.

Next Step: If you are still contemplating who Jesus is, or would like a clear and concise explanation to share with your parents, you are welcome to readI Want to Know Jesus。